


Batsy, baby, it's Valentines day

by JackJester



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29357538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackJester/pseuds/JackJester
Summary: He opens the message revealing a card and a note. In graceful handwriting it reads:‘Be My Valentine’ -Jay
Relationships: Batman/Joker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Batsy, baby, it's Valentines day

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day!

It’s a quiet, sunny Sunday afternoon at Wayne Manor. Bruce had a meeting canceled and is now enjoying the earl grey tea Alfred made him. Until…

‘Master Bruce, there’s a message for you on the Batcomputer.’ The sharply dressed man informs him in a polite English accent. He had been cleaning the office where the secret entrance to the Batcave lead.  
Bruce lays down the paper he was reading and follows his butler into the cave. On their way down Bruce tries to think of who would send a message to the computer in the middle of the day. 

They both stand in frond of the monitor that still has some files open due to Bruce working on them earlier today. 

‘What are you waiting for? Just open it already.’ Jason tells Bruce impatiently, as he joins the two man. He had followed them after overhearing their conversation. 

He opens the message revealing a card with a note.  
The card has an old parchment paper look to it with **‘Laugh long, loud and often’** written on the front and fancy old-fashioned decorative outlines. ‘Hm, where does this come from’. He questioned before turning the card around.  
In graceful handwriting it reads:  
_‘Be My Valentine’_ -Jay  
Followed by his usual  
_‘xoxo’._

********

********

Jason lets out a mocking chuckle. ‘I knew he was out of his mind, but it looks like that clown lost all of his screws escaping the nuthouse.’ He added before announcing his leave to go back upstairs and finish his homework, that he totally not pushed back until the last moment.  
‘Just make sure you have it finished before we go on parole tonight.’ Bruce replied and focused his attention back on the card so he can figure out what Joker wanted or what he was up to, it is never easy. 

********

********

The card looked familiar yet he couldn’t lay his finger on where it came from. Suddenly it hit him, it was one of Zorak’s fortune teller tickets. ‘The attraction was last located at the abandoned amusement park, that could be a clue for place.’ He mumbled to himself. ‘That would mean Joker is gonna be be there on Valentines Day.’ He continued. ‘That would be today sir.’ Alfred pointed out.  
‘Looks like Batman and Robin are going to have a busy night.’ 

********

********

*Later that day*  
‘Jason! Suit up, we’re headed to the amusement park!’ Bruce announces while putting on the Batsuit. ‘Sounds like fun.’ Jason sarcastically replies.  
Fully dressed, ready to kick butt they get into the batmobile, wheels screeching as they leave. 

********

********

Once they arrive Batman let's Robin know to keep his eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary, but also to be careful. ‘Don’t forget we’re up against the Joker.’ He told him before moving in. 

********

********

They landed themselves behind the ticket booth of the park, making their way towards the ferris wheel. Everything was dark, looking like it was going to rust trough and fall apart any moment.  
At first sight the place seems to be still abandoned, no sight of anyone… Yet.  
Looks can be deceiving as not much later they are surrounded by plenty of Joker’s henchmen. 

********

********

The duo does their best fighting off the thugs. Batman kicks and punches at least five of them to the ground while Robin immobilises two more of them. Three heavy weight colossal men overpowering Robin, injecting him with an unknown substance which seems to knock him out. 

********

********

By the time Batman notices his sidekick is missing the remaining thugs got him pinned to the ground. However Joker has shown up and commands his man to bring Batman to his knees and have his hands tied together. 

********

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Joker’s grin grows only wider when their eyes meet.  
“Batsy!” He starts cheerful. “So glad you could make it, I almost taught my instructions weren’t clear enough.” Joker sneers, bringing his head closer to Batman’s. 

********

********

‘What do you want.’ Batman growls in a deep voice.  
The other man stands back up straight before brushing his hand trough his curly green hair.  
“As you may have noticed your little birdy has flown off, but luckily for you I have caught him and placed him securely in a cage. See for yourself. ” 

********

********

He pulls a phone out of his front pocket and holds it before the other. It plays live footage of Robin passed out in an old ,small, dark room, tied to a heavy looking wooden chair.  
Angry Batman jumps to his feet, grabbing Joker by the throat which earns him an elbow thrust in the ribs and a painful blow to his head. The bat is pushed back on his knees. “Tut tut, I wouldn’t do that if I where you.” He mockingly grinned after being released out of the other’s grip. 

********

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He cleared his throat and continued: “As you saw, your boy blunder is still fairly unharmed and you can keep it that way. All you have to do is cooperate.” 

********

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Knowing he and Robin will only get out of this madness by playing along, he grinds his teeth and grunts ‘fine, I’ll play your little game just leave the boy alone.’

********

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Amused by the bats compliance Joker orders for everyone to leave. The thugs do as they’re told and swiftly retreat from the premises, leaving their boss and the feared vigilante in the middle of the dark amusement park. 

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‘Now it’s only the two of us so what’s going to stop me from kicking you back to Arkham?’ Batman snaps. 

********

********

“Because…” Joker laughed placing his hand onto the bat’s shoulder. “As stoic and bitter you are, or at least pretend to be, there is no way you are gonna risk loosing this Robin over a stupid mistake. Besides, deep down you secretly want to know why I invited you here on Valentines Day of all dates.” 

********

********

A smile spreads across his face and on top of that there’s a mix of passion and crazy in his eyes when he presses the trigger to turn on some of the lights he recently had put there himself. 

********

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≪The worst part of it all is, he’s right about not wanting to risk loosing another Robin.≫ Batman thinks to himself. 

********

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“Come on, chop-chop, we ain't got all night.” Joker giggled, tugging at his cape to make him follow wherever he planned to go.  
And that turned out to be the tin can toss game. 

********

********

The booth looked out of place as there was no rust nor dirt covering it. On top of that was it lit with green and purple lights and all of the equipment and even the prises where there. 

********

********

Joker grabs a couple of the colourful balls, tosses one up and catching it again before throwing and knocking over all the cans in front of him that where carefully stacked on top of each other.  
“Wooohh!” The clown exclaims cheerful. 

********

********

With his second throw he manages to clear the spot with cans as if it where the easiest thing he’s ever done.  
However, before he throws the next ball, he turns to Batman and hands it to him. Without a doubt he would be able to hit all of the cans and make it look like no big deal, except his hands are tight together. He tosses the ball into the cans and as he dreaded he gets only one can to move as well as one clown to burst out laughing. 

********

********

Oh how he wishes this night to be over soon so he can put that maniac in his place. His thoughts are interrupted when Joker stumps his elbow against him.  
“Cheer up, next time better, haha.” The clown sneers holding out another ball. But Batman is not amused and shoots him a threatening look.  
“Alright, let’s do something else.”

********

********

Batman’s cape is pulled again as they make their way over to the bumping cars. 

********

********

At first he doesn’t move the car, not wanting to participate in the other’s stupid game.  
Joker who is bumping against Mr. Grumpy’s car, taunting and reminding the caped vigilante of their deal as well as what he could do to his precious sidekick. 

********

********

Rage rises within him as well as his mad driving skills, showing no mercy clashing against the other, almost knocking the crazy clown out of his seat.  
After two rounds Joker seems to have enough of the ride ≪just now that Batman is enjoying himself≫ and pulls them inside one of the rollercoasters. 

********

********

The light’s turn on when Joker flips the switch as does the rollercoaster.  
“Lady’s, gentleman and everything in between keep your heads on and try not to die during the ride. “ A tape plays before the ride takes off. 

********

********

≪This is madness, there is no way he fixed this enough for it to not kill us. It will collapse the moment we reach the top.≫ Batman yells in his head, while remaining in a calm exterior. 

********

********

“Don’t be so uptight” Joker mocks, “I’ve had this whole ride put under construction, it’s as good as new. So don’t go worrying about dying! At least not yet, Hahahaha!”

********

********

This put’s the others mind at ease, at least for a little bit. Besides it’s been a long time since he’s been anywhere near this place and he used to love it when he was young. 

********

********

≪He should buy and renovate it, then he can come here with Jason, maybe even with Dick.≫ 

********

********

That’s all the reminiscing he get’s before the noisy man beside him yells:”Here it comes Bats! You better be ready! Woohoooo! 

********

********

Right before the drop a camera flashes revealing a smirking dark knight and cheering madmen when they take a look at the pictures.  
He can feel the shame creep upon him as he’s not supposed to enjoy himself around that criminal, but he can’t help it. 

********

********

≪Being around that cheerful, vibrant, even humorous lunatic is making it hard for him to remain all gloomy and serious. But he’s having fun isn’t he? Why is he having fun?≫

********

********

Next up, the shooting game.  
He was hoping they wouldn’t go to this one but expected it anyway. 

********

********

≪A gun in that clown’s hands is always dangerous, even if it’s an air-soft one. ≫  
Joker loads one of the guns leans over the counter while aiming and pops a purple balloon at his first shot. 

********

********

At that point Batman realises he’s been staring at the other’s bottom and all he can think about is how good that clown’s butt looks in those lilac high waisted pants, that even got little purple hearts on them. 

********

********

His eyes look back up when Joker jumps over the counter and puts on a brim hat pretending to be a game agent.  
In his most passionate voice he begins: “Hello there, you look like you could use some fun. The game is simple ten pallets, ten balloons. First to pop ‘em all wins!”

********

********

He looses the hat and returns back next to Batman with a knife, cutting the rope on his hands and gives him a gun along with one free shot. 

********

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The bat is struggling trying to load the tiny pellet into the gun. 

********

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“It’s easier without gloves.” Joker mumbles while leaning on the booth, resting his head on his hand, watching the bat putter. 

********

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And with that comment he decided to pull off his glove with his teeth, due to still holding the gun with his other hand.  
With his now gloveless hand he effortlessly puts the pellet into place followed by aiming and popping one of the yellow balloons. 

********

********

“That’s it! I knew you where able to fire a gun.” Proudly tells him. “Alright ready, set, fire!” He yells, picking up a gun for himself.  
The game is on, both of them eager to win. 

********

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Although Batman has all his focus on the targets, he can’t help but notice the feeling of being stared at whenever he fires. 

********

********

As expected Joker wins, not even having missed one time. 

********

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≪Luckily for him, guns aren’t ‘funny’ otherwise he probably would’ve been six feet down by now. ≫ He thinks to himself. 

********

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The clown climbs onto the counter reaching for one of the prizes that hang from the ceiling of the booth. He chooses a little bear that holds a heart with _‘Thank you’_ written on it. 

********

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“Tadaa!” he cheered proudly. Holding up the plushie before handing it to the man in black.  
“Don’t loose it.” He grinned almost threatening. 

********

********

Therefore Batman safely puts it away in his belt. However there is always a chance that here is a bomb inside of it but for some reason he trusts it to be innocent, for now. 

********

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“Onto the slides!” Joker joyfully announces, clearly not wanting to waste the little time they have left standing around, twiddling their thumbs. He grabs Batman by his gloveless hand as they walk towards the steps taking them to the top of the enormous slides. 

********

********

Dim heart-shaped lights hang above them providing a soft pink glow. The view from up there is breath taking. The whole park feels unreal, lit by the moonlight and some colourful points of light here and there.  
They are standing opposite of each other, close to each other. 

********

********

Batman looks closely at the man in front of him, noticing the way he’s more dressed up than last time, how his make-up softer than usual, how he smells like sweet apples mixed with gunpowder and his green curls perfectly frame his face. 

********

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He can’t help but wonder how much time and planning went into tonight.  
It’s at this moment Joker snaps him out of it. 

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“Stay focused Bats, I got ons last surprise for you. But in order to claim it, you got to catch me first.” And proceeds to launch himself down the slide. 

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A split-second later Batman is following him down the same slide. He catches up to the clown and grabs him tight, the other now trapped in-between his legs. 

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Right before they reach the bottom, Joker triggers something, sending red and pink fireworks into the air right above them.  
They remain seated like that for a bit, only when the last rocket explodes in the sky, they get up. 

********

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Out of nowhere Robin dropkicks Joker who surrenders laughing as he got exactly what he wanted. (Well almost). 

********

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Now that Robin is back he commands Joker to tell him where the bomb is. Joker just looks at him smiling from ear to ear, joy in his eyes. 

********

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“I never said anything about a bomb, right Batsy?” Joker looks up at the man standing over him like he is the most innocent person there. As if he wouldn’t dare to set off a bomb, killing hundreds of people. 

********

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That’s when it fully hits Batman.  
≪That dishy nutter was playing me the whole time and the only leverage he had was Jason≫  
At this realisation he’s filled with anger and shame, disappointed at himself for not figuring that out. He can feel his face heath up underneath the cowl. 

********

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It doesn’t help when Joker promises him: “Oh don’t worry Batsy, next time I’ll plan something big with lots of citizens for you to save. I’ve got plenty ideas for next schemes.” 

********

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Robin cuffs the madmen before handing him over to batman.  
‘You won’t get the chance, you’re going back to Arkham.’ The boy wonder mocks.  
‘Police will be here any minute.’ He informs them. 

********

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Batman turns to his young partner looking for any injuries only spotting some minor bruises.  
‘Good to see you unharmed.’ He may not have shown it but he was relived Joker kept his word.  
‘I’ll handle it from here. You can go home, it’s late.’ He ordered his voice again as stern as usual. 

********

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Knowing he has to wake up early for school tomorrow Robin nods understandingly and makes his way home. 

********

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It doesn’t take long before before they hear sirens in the distance. 

********

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Joker turns his head looking up to the man beside him.  
“I know you won’t admit it or maybe I’m wrong but I had fun tonight.” He softly spoke leaning his head against the bat’s chest. 

********

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The moment doesn’t last long thanks to red and blue flashing lights appearing at the entrance of the park. The police has arrived at the scene. 

********

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Two heavily armed officers walk steadily towards them.  
He hands Joker over and waits for them to leave so he can do a quick sweep, just in case. 

********

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However, all he finds is a hidden camera at the slides with a polaroid picture of them with the fireworks. He takes it home with him as ‘evidence’. 

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On his drive home he tries to go over what exactly happened tonight but his mind keeps wondering off, thinking about that damn clown, wondering what would’ve happened if Robin hadn’t escaped, if the cops hadn’t shown up so soon. 

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Oh how he wants to do this night all over again. Except he’d leave Jason at home this time so there is nothing to threaten him with. What would he do then? He’d watch the clown twist and turn trying to come up with something. Yet then there would be no reason for him to be there, other than for his company. 

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And maybe that’s exactly what he needed, company. 

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Back at the cave he notices a small little purple box wrapped in a green bow. Bruce already knows who it’s from, that’s why he’s not surprised when the tag says:” _Open on your birthday XD”_  
In the same graceful handwriting as earlier today. 

********

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After taking a long hot shower he changes into his pyjama’s, grabs his utility-belt proceeding to go upstairs into his room. Sitting down on his bed, he takes the picture out and observes it letting out a deep breath along with a quiet chuckle.

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With a smirk on his face he opens another pocket revealing the little fuzzy teddybear.  
‘Thank you’ He mumbles before carefully placing both of his ‘gifts’ into his nightstand drawer. You were right, I had fun today. 

********

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Happy Valentines Jay.

********


End file.
